In 2015 I lived in a camper van, my grandfather was 95 and in poor health. So I stayed in his driveway and cooked for him every now and then. He had a carer who lived with him full time so he was well cared for. He did however have dementia and one day told me in a round about way that he had my Grandmother killed in 2004 when she was at the care home. At the time I believed him and was so shocked and appalled that I left him to his own devices. I didn’t talk to anyone else in the family about it as I was too scared.
He died in 2017 and afterward I became paranoid that he himself was killed and begun mistrusting my family and believing that I was being followed and that my mum was sending people to me in my life to make a monkey out of me. The paranoia got so great that I started intimidating my mum as I believed that I would “be next”.
I was smoking a lot of weed at the time which made my paranoia worse. I had recently received a substantial amount of money and bought a new camper van to live in but the guy I bought it off hadn’t changed the number plate back to it’s original one after he sold it to me so, when I got pulled over for drug driving it showed that I was also not insured. I thought the police were also “in on it” and started spouting to them about my Grandmothers death. I was sectioned.
When I came out of Hospital I used the money from the sale of my camper van to rent a room in Basildon. I began getting more paranoid and not trusting my housemates believing they were in on the conspiracy too, so much so that I got into a couple of fights with one housemate. As the money from the camper van had run out and I was just working part time when the landlord evicted me I became homeless.
I had enough money to buy a singe man tent and a bicycle and camped in the local park, terrified that people were out to get me. I was on universal credit so I had enough money to buy weed and there was a soup kitchen in Basildon where I could get food. As the summer months turned colder and the camping got more muddy I walked to Southend-on-sea where I found that they look after the homeless well, you can get a cooked breakfast and a shower from HARP and evening meals at One Love kitchen. All this time I believed that my Mum & brother were sending people to follow me, if someone sniffed their nose when I walked past them I thought they were harassing me. I thought I was being followed and was paranoid that I was under surveillance by my family, I was shouting at people in the street as I thought everyone was against me. I even believed my friends were in on it as well, at some point I snapped and started harassing my friends and family because I believed they were harassing me. I turned up at my friends and harassed them, I called my Mum on the phone and threatened her and finally I paid a visit to my brother and scared him, after which I got arrested and sectioned for the second time. I spent 3 months in hospital
I was put on a monthly injection of Paliperidone and released to stay with a good friend of mine. I haven’t relapsed since then and I honestly feel now that I’m on the right medication it won’t happen again. I have lost connection with friends and family members because of my Mental Health problems and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Life is very steady now, I work, I have a council flat, I save my money and life is peaceful I have a lot to be thankful for.
Darren